We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
