She announced her abortion via fbk
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize