Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
