Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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