her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
