do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
