i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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