Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
