You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
