So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
