took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
