I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
