We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
