I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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