We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
