those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
