How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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