Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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