Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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