I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize