is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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