Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
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