If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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