So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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