Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
