so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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