Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
