Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Randomize
