so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
