So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
