Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Everclear isn't food dammit
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
