He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
