hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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