Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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