Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
