could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Come share oat with me in your robe
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
