im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
