dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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