a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
