he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We had sex on a dog bed..
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
