Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Randomize
