I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
