she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
