bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
