If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
