i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
COCAINE IS GR8
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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