Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
