so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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