I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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