i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
