Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
