This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Green mimosas i think yes
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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