all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
