So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
