hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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