Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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