she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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