eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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