Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
just tell him i said nine months
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
