I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
