im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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