My hand turned me down
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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