have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize